Major Changes!

Life has gotten completely crazy. My mind is swirling and spinning constantly. I want time to speed up to get over this chaotic period. I want time to slow down so I don't have to begin a very difficult 4+ month period. I can't keep a coherent thought in my head. When anyone asks me a question I stare at them blankly for an inordinate amount of time before I remember who I am, what they asked me, and how I need to answer. I'm not kidding.

Let's just review my 2011

January: Lost my job for the first time

February: C is diagnosed with the birth defect craniosynostosis

March and April: Still out of work; visiting many specialists for C; travelling to Dallas to get expert opinion; finally decide not to have surgery for C

May: Job hunt really heats up and I travel to D.C. and Richmond, VA for interviews

June: My grandma dies; I accept a position to go back to my old employer

July: The one bright spot of the year! All is well. I have a job, we are healthy, we enjoy a 2 week vacation visiting friends and family in Minnesota, we celebrate C's first birthday!

August: I think August was somewhat okay too, but I was starting to stress about job security again

September: Hubby's grandma dies; Hubby is diagnosed with prolactinoma and many medical appointments ensue; more job stress; my hair starts falling out; I have prolonged unexplained bouts of terrible itchy hives

October: Laid off again; Hubby's medical crap drags on; struggling with the hives/rashes

November: Apply to jobs all over the country; more hives and less hair; my grandpa is diagnosed with colon cancer and his heart cannot handle surgery to cure it

December: Job interviews in Michigan and Indiana; decide I'm 99% sure the hair loss (still happening) is from stress and 95% sure the hives are also from stress



But the good news...

I just accepted the job in Indiana! They made a great offer and I really hope I will enjoy the job. The details aren't finalized but I think I will formally start February 1st. Hubby and I have paid airfare, hotel, and rental car to visit for house hunting next week. The company wants to send me home with a laptop so I can do some work and training before I relocate so I can "hit the ground running" when I start for real. Yikes.

The really, really bad news...

After much discussion, Hubby will not be moving with me and C. Don't worry, we're not divorcing. It will be temporary until he finishes this school year at the end of May. He found out that HR and his principal really did not want to let him out of his contract. Even if they did, he would have to disclose that he broke a contract to future employers and that could ruin any chance of getting teaching jobs in the future. Worst case scenario, Arizona could also revoke his license which would also stay on his record.

We decided that his long term career was more important than these four months we will be apart. I know I can do it but I feel so bad for him being away from C, and vice versa. I think it's a terrible age for it. I am so afraid she will feel sad or abandoned and not even be able to express it. I wish that she was old enough for us to explain it to her. He makes her laugh more than anyone. What if things are different between them after it's over? That will kill him. I am sad and worried but I know that it has to be done. My mom is moving with me to help out during the separation.

So anyway, that catches you up. I'm excited about this new job but I'm sad about leaving Hubby. There is so much to be done. So many logistical things. It hurts my head to even think about making a list of what to do! To be continued...