Six Month Update

Ugh, did you ever notice how job searches are just totally depressing? Especially since I'm confined to one area for the time being and there just aren't many jobs in my field here. Yuck. I literally spent all day searching and emailing yesterday and feel no closer to an actual job.

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In other news Baby Girl's 6 month checkup was Monday the 17th, the same day I was laid off. She weighed 16 lbs. 10 oz. which put her at about 55%. I think her length was 25.75 inches, or about 40%. So that's all fine and good. Oh, she screamed at her appointment. And I'm not even talking about vaccines! Did I tell you she got some teeth? Yep, two teeth turned up the Friday before so I think that is why she was so crabby.

We talked to the doctor about her poop issues. Although, since the day before the teeth showed up she had been going great. It looked like normal baby output and was coming every day. But given her two-month struggles, the doctor suggested we put her on Gerber.GoodStart with comfort.proteins. She says that is what infant GI docs recommend. So we went out and bought it and quit within three days. She started to refuse to eat again, it was affecting her eating of solids, and she was spitting up constantly. The first day back on soy she quit spitting up and drank her formula like it was going out of style. So that settles it I guess. My kid must have a dairy sensitivity. No more switching, we are sticking with soy! I really wonder what this means for switching to milk at 1 year old... But her pooping really has been amazing since the teeth! I don't know if it's a coincidence but I don't care, I'm just so happy! It's the little things. :) (Or large quantities of stinky things, really)

As for BG* development news, she is crawling, sort of. She gets on hands and knees but mostly moves backwards. But she definitely is on the move with a combo of sort-of-crawling, scooting, rolling, and whatever else it is that she does when we're not looking. I swear sometimes she apparates around the living room. And today Grandma reported that she went from laying to sitting up by herself. She would probably be better at independent sitting by now but she is too busy being on the go. She doesn't want to sit still! She has also been playing around with the volume of her voice and has come to the conclusion that maximum volume is ideal for all situations. I can't take her to restaurants anymore! Good thing I can't afford it anymore anyway (ha ha not funny)!

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*Man, I always almost type her real name instead of BG! And it's such a great name, no bias here, really. ;) Maybe some of you know it? I can't remember which readers I sent her birth announcement to. Maybe you read BG and really think of her actual name. :)

Waiting for the Other Shoe to...

THUD!

So Monday morning I was noticing how stressed I felt. Correction, how stressed I've been feeling. It's an unwelcome feeling because it has been a long time since I have felt this way. It's different than ttc stress too so even longer ago than that. I decided right there looking in the mirror that I would start looking for a new job. But prospects for my line of work are bleak around here, to put it optimistically.

I know I mentioned I have been worried about my job. There were certain situations at the company that meant things could go really bad by this summer. We all knew it, there was no secret or anything but I think we all expected things would either get resolved or we would all go down with the ship.

I guess not because Monday I got laid off. My boss came in and I could tell by his red eyes and demeanor exactly what was about to happen. We had to go have a meeting with the CEO and President. All told there were four people let go and two reduced to half time. Basically I think they wanted to be able to show the board/stockholders they were cutting costs.

I was shocked but I held it together until the CEO started saying nice things about me... I'm a doll, I'm part of their family, blah blah blah. I cried right there in front of them and felt like such an ass. Plus, I am the world's. ugliest. crier. For reals. We are talking bright red, blotchy face and especially neck. Red puffy eyes and just in general I couldn't hide it standing a mile away from someone. So they told me there would be a company meeting later but that I didn't have to attend. I was at one of those for layoffs a couple of years ago and I knew I couldn't hold it together. But I had to prepare for my Tuesday lab work so I collected myself and went to my lab. Luckily I didn't run into anyone. Except one girl with red eyes hightailing it out of there. Shit, the pregnant one. As in due next month. Yep, I texted her and she got the axe too. She can stay until she has the baby though, and collect disability but then it's sayonara. Shit. She and her husband just closed on a house last month. Shit.

So I really dreaded going to work Tuesday, knowing it would be all awkward. It was funny (but not ha ha funny). Half of the people were nice and came specifically to talk to me (and make me tear up) and said the right things, etc. The other half avoided me like I had the plague. I actually think one guy turned and ran from the lunchroom after he saw I was already in there.

Ugh, I am so not excited to start the job search. I remember how much energy it took the last time. I'm going to have to have my mom keep coming to watch Baby Girl just because the job search will be a full time job! The thing that really sucks is that I will get a taste of stay-at-home mommyness but it is impossible long-term. Today I calculated this math problem:

(Hubby's income) - (taxes, mandatory retirement, etc) - (health insurance) - (mortgage) = $0

Like zero dollars almost exactly. So luxuries like eating and electricity and whatnot will have to come out of savings. Thank God we have savings. I can't imagine my state of mind right now if we didn't. I've been so focused on freaking out about finding a job that I just started thinking about how much I will miss my job, the people, and my work. I've had such a good situation that I really don't think I will ever have something quite this good again. And the people I worked with who have experiences at lots of other places agree with that.

So I'm excited I'll be home with Baby Girl. But I am nervous and scared for the future. We have some time to spare but I do have to find something soon.

Playing Catch Up

Ugh, I've been meaning to blog forever. So, where did we leave off? I have no idea either. I know there was the thing about soy...

So we switched Baby Girl to soy formula. With mixed results. As you may remember, we were having trouble with both input and output. Input has become much easier. She is not necessarily eating much more, but it is so much easier! We never have to fight to get her to eat. She usually happily gulps it down but sometimes we have to switch rooms or walk around to convince her to finish the second half. But more often than not there is no problem! She is probably averaging a few more ounces than she was. I am trying not to obsess about how many ounces the books or her pediatrician says she should have because she is growing (like crazy!) and is happy.

Output is another story. She poops almost every day but it is still difficult for her and it does NOT look like baby poop. Poor thing. And, ew, guess what? We sometimes have to "help" her get it out. I won't draw you a picture or anything but suffice it to say it involves a flexible digital thermometer. We've also had to resort to a suppository once. Oh! And guess what else? Both my mother-in-law and her sister said they had this problem with all of their kids, but that eventually they grew out of it. Thank you genetics. Sigh. We will revisit the progress with the pediatrician very soon because...

BG will be 6 months on Thursday! Yikes, where has the time gone?! We were in MN for a week right before Christmas and I feel like she learned so many tricks! In fact, when my mom took care of her one day after we got back she called me almost crying because BG "was so big" and had "grown up". It was so cute. She sits by herself but you have to be close by because she randomly falls over. She eats baby food and loves it. She's actually really good at it and so neat. As long as you can successfully get it in, none of it comes out so it isn't too messy. She loves prunes and bananas but is less thrilled about sweet potatoes and pears. That's all we've gotten to so far. She also learned to throw her toys and then look at them until someone gets them. She "flirts" by smiling and cocking her head way to the side. And she has gotten so good at using her hands it amazes me. We had some serious sleep issues in MN because she refused to nap but all in all she did very well. I think a week is a long time for a baby to be out of her normal routine.

Amazingly, tomorrow is the first day in the history of the world that I have a paid holiday and hubby (a teacher) does not. So BG and I will have a day to ourselves and then it's back to reality for me.

I am very excited for what 2011 has in store for my family but also pretty stressed. There's a very real chance I could lose my job anytime between now and July. Or really anytime this year. So that has me worried. We have our contingency plan in place but we absolutely cannot make ends meet on hubby's salary alone so our plan will include using savings until I would get a new job. That would last us quite a while but living on that type of budget is not something I would be excited about. Plus, a new job would probably involve a big move. I try not to dwell on it but it's always at the back of my mind.

But, for now we are happy, healthy, employed, and enjoying family life. I hope that 2011 is good to all of you! May all your wishes, baby and otherwise, come true!

Wait, what is this? How did this get on here? Sssshhhhh, don't tell.

P.S. Thank you for comments on your experiences with soy and typical feeding volumes, etc. It made me feel better!