Seriously 2011?!

So I thought 2011 was looking up for us.

And then Crash Bam! Reality hits ya hard, bro.*

I lost my job again last Thursday. This time it was the whole staff except the execs.

In the meantime...

A month or so ago my husband had some blood work done and his hormone levels came back a little weird. Not crazy weird, but a little weird. So his doctor ordered a repeat of the test and an additional one and sent him to a urologist to talk about the results.

The new test was for prolactin, a hormone produced by the pituitary gland (technically a part of the brain). A normal level of prolactin (for a man or non-lactating woman) is below 20 ng/mL. Hubby's was over 400. The urologist had never seen a level that high and sent him to an endocrinologist who said a level that high is certainly a tumor, called a prolactinoma. The good news is these tumors are almost never cancerous. The bad news is that if the tumor is too large they may have to do surgery to remove it. He is currently on a medication to shrink it and is awaiting an MRI appointment to assess the size of the tumor.

Why is it that job loss at my house has to go hand-in-hand with major medical episodes and threats of surgery?

*To understand this reference you really must watch this video and then this video (in that order). And really, you should watch them. This is a local newscast here in Phoenix.

Dilemma No More

Phew. My conscience is clear. And I didn't have to get involved.

Today I was running the scenario by some coworkers. One thought I was too far removed from the couple to get involved. One thought I should tell my friend, but only because he thought it would create drama which would be funny.

I was showing my coworkers the evidence on face.book and Post.Secret. Right after they left my office I clicked my friend's friend list to look up the cheated-upon-wife. (I know, I am a crazy fb stalker.) She was no longer in my friend's list.

Hmm, that seemed odd. She was just there yesterday. So I googled the cheater's name and went to his twit.ter. Oh! Suddenly his tweets are on lockdown and you can only see them if authorized! This was a clear indication to me that the proverbial sh#t done hit the fan.

So I texted my friend. Our convo:

Me: I wanted to ask if there was some major drama today in the world of [City] Roller Derby. I have a feeling it's a yes.

Friend: I've been at work all day... what's going on?!

Me: Do you ever look at Post.Secret?

Friend: Oh shit. Yes. We saw it yesterday.

Me: I don't even know those people and it took me two minutes to find out his name once I saw the green jacket.

Friend: Sad part is [he] didn't send that. Someone is trying to ruin him. He did f*%# up and make a mistake, has told his wife and they are trying to re-group. It is awful. All across the derby world and U.S.

Me: Did his wife know before it was online?

Friend: Yeah, it happened about 6 months ago. I don't know why someone would do that. Revenge I guess.


Hmm, can we think of someone who would be angry with a man that cheated on his wife? Perhaps a woman who was interested enough to do something stupid with him and then be pissed when he told his wife? My vote is on the co-cheater(s?).

Anyway, I feel really bad for the wife. How embarrassing. I don't feel bad for the dude for getting caught but I don't think it's right to air someone else's dirty laundry like that, complete with a picture. It has the possibility to hurt so many more people than just him.

It actually made me think that perhaps Post.Secret should have a policy against posting actual photographs. What if the sender doesn't have the right to the photograph? Obviously there's the potential to seriously violate other peoples' privacy. I guess in this day and age you can't expect to have privacy.

This is why I often say that I am oh so glad I went to college before the rise of digital cameras and face.book!

Post Secret and the Ethical Dilemma

Have you ever seen the tv program called something like "What.would.you.do?"? I was half watching it last night and they did a segment about people seeing their friend's significant other cheating. They set out to see whether the witness would tell their friend or not. I guess I would tell, but boy, that would be a sucky position to be in, no?

Later last night I decided to click over to Post.Secret. If I'm up late on Saturdays I sometimes check because the new ones are often posted already.

So, some background info... I have a friend who I haven't seen in many years. We used to be close, sort of had a falling out, but reconnected on face.book and have kept in touch. She is dating a girl who is big into roller derby. Their team (and friends and fans and such) often wear team gear including a pretty disctinct green track jacket. My friend is always wearing it in her face.book pics.

Ok, so back to Post.Secret. I looked at the first secret and freaked out. It shows a guy jumping on a bed in what looks like a hotel room. He has a black bar over his eyes (because you know that is all you have to do to completely conceal your identity. *Eye roll*). On the picture is written "This.is.the.night.I.started.cheating.on.my.wife.with.roller.derby.girls". (You could head on over to Post.Secret. It's the first picture)

He is wearing the very distinctive green track jacket.

It takes me about two seconds to look at my friend's face.book pictures to figure out exactly who he is and who his wife is. (His hair color is also somewhat distinctive.) They are both friends with my friend on face.book.

So there is the small possibility that this is someone else's secret. As in "here is a picture of my friend jumping on a bed and then I decided to cheat on my wife the same night". I'm thinking that's unlikely.

So what do you do? For a minute I considered writing to my friend and casually asking if she looks at post.secret. Or specifically directing her to look at the first secret. But then I wondered what kind of position I would be putting her in. I don't know how close she is with these people. Would she feel compelled to tell the woman? Would she not know her well enough to feel like it is her place? Would it become a moral dilemma for her?

But if I don't say anything to anyone I keep thinking about this poor woman who is being cheated on. Her relationship is really none of my business. But what if her health is at risk? Is it really so much of a jump to assume a man who is reckless enough to cheat and then tell the whole internet is reckless enough to do this unprotected? And he used the word girls, indicating this is going on with more than one person. Ew.

But then, if it took me less than a minute to figure this out and I don't personally know anyone involved with this roller derby team except my friend... how long before someone else figures it out and tells her?

So, I ask you, what would you do?!