*********Editor's note****************
We are going to dispense with this whole "Baby Girl" thing. I'm not particularly fond of the initials BG, nor typing out 'Baby Girl' all the time. Henceforth she will be known as 'C', mostly because that is the first letter of her name. You will now return to your regularly scheduled programming, whether you like it or not.
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Apparently when I had C it simply hit the snooze alarm of my proverbial biological clock rather than turning the darn thing off. Because lately I've been hearing a ticking sound. sshhhhh... do you hear it, too? Well damnit if I don't find myself already planning to give into my evolutionary drive to propagate the species. Really?! C is only 13 months old. But there you have it.
I am still waiting to find out if it looks like my company will remain in business for at least a few more years. I hope to know soon. If not, all bets are off for awhile because we will probably have to move and I would have to start a new job. I'm thinking any future potential boss would not be super thrilled to see a woman in her second or third trimester come waddling in. But if my job seems reasonably secure (I say "reasonably" because they're not known for rational layoff decisions around here), I would like to start trying at the end of this year/very beginning of next year.
But of course that brings up all the old feelings. I start thinking about due dates and babies and nursery themes and everything in my mind is like "Babies, babies, rainbows, la la la." And then suddenly I am thinking "Hey DUMMY, do you remember temping and clomid and OPKs and follicle checks and bloodwork and bawling after doctor appointments and how it took you a year to get pregnant?" Yeah, I remember those things. They sucked.
So am I really ready for all of that again? I guess we'll see.
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Ah! That darn biological clock. I've heard from many Ifers that they have short term memory loss (or, uh, long term memory loss) about how hard it really was to just get preggars. I am already feeling that a bit. I'm already (hello, still 9 months preggo) talking about wanting #2! Ah!
ReplyDeleteYeah I hear ya. I had my annual exam today and my doc told me as soon as we're ready for #2 to send her an email so she can put my referral in for the IF clinic. Not sure if I was more upset that she pretty much told me I'll never get preggers on my own, or because DH isn't ready yet but I suddenly am. I think having a toddler move into a new space in my heart left that old baby space empty and longing for some filling. Hope you get good stable job news and you can go full steam ahead when you're ready.
ReplyDeleteKari
www.karisbabysteps.blogspot.com
Is that your clock ticking that I've been hearing all the way down here? I thought it was my own! Perhaps ours are in sync. :) Wishing you the best (and sad that I can't join my husband up in your neck of the woods this weekend to visit with you and C).
ReplyDeleteKent and I are in the same boat. We are actually trying. We're going with no drugs until January...and then it back to the grind. Here's hoping we have another miracle baby!
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