Friday, August 12, 2011

Maybe Baby

*********Editor's note****************
We are going to dispense with this whole "Baby Girl" thing. I'm not particularly fond of the initials BG, nor typing out 'Baby Girl' all the time. Henceforth she will be known as 'C', mostly because that is the first letter of her name. You will now return to your regularly scheduled programming, whether you like it or not.
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Apparently when I had C it simply hit the snooze alarm of my proverbial biological clock rather than turning the darn thing off. Because lately I've been hearing a ticking sound. sshhhhh... do you hear it, too? Well damnit if I don't find myself already planning to give into my evolutionary drive to propagate the species. Really?! C is only 13 months old. But there you have it.

I am still waiting to find out if it looks like my company will remain in business for at least a few more years. I hope to know soon. If not, all bets are off for awhile because we will probably have to move and I would have to start a new job. I'm thinking any future potential boss would not be super thrilled to see a woman in her second or third trimester come waddling in. But if my job seems reasonably secure (I say "reasonably" because they're not known for rational layoff decisions around here), I would like to start trying at the end of this year/very beginning of next year.

But of course that brings up all the old feelings. I start thinking about due dates and babies and nursery themes and everything in my mind is like "Babies, babies, rainbows, la la la." And then suddenly I am thinking "Hey DUMMY, do you remember temping and clomid and OPKs and follicle checks and bloodwork and bawling after doctor appointments and how it took you a year to get pregnant?" Yeah, I remember those things. They sucked.

So am I really ready for all of that again? I guess we'll see.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Time Flies and Babies Grow!

I am far too busy in the evenings playing internet games, watching tv, and being lazy cleaning my house and finding ways to better humanity that I finally decided just to blog from work. GASP, I know. Scandalous. But actually, there is some serious down time going on right now that is out of my control so I am seriously bored! I would much rather be busy at work.

So anyway, we now have a 13-month-old terrorizing gracing our home. So 11-month-olds can now begin their terrible twos? But actually, I love every minute of it. She is testing every limit and boundary and thinks the word 'no' is hilarious! But she is awfully cute doing it. And, AND, she now seeks hugs and will sometimes give kisses willingly. It's like the best thing that ever happened to me.

She puts away quantities of food that never cease to amaze me! She'll eat anything we eat and that is so nice. AND, we're off formula! (Cue music from heaven.) I can hear our bank account growing! I wish we could just have her on whole milk but alas, her milk allergy is still present. Luckily she eats cheese, yogurt, and ice cream with no problems so that gives me hope she'll outgrow it eventually. The proteins in those foods are broken down during processing/cooking so they are easier on the tummy.

So we're actually on almond milk now. At the 1-year appointment the doc was going to have us do soy milk (which I was still wary of). But then she mentioned that we could start peanut butter and I told her we already had for awhile (I favor not holding off on the typically more allergenic foods). Then she said we could do almond milk instead. Great! Baby Girl loves it and drinks it even better than formula.

But, on to our next challenge. The dreaded Sippy Cup (of Doom). It took months before she would even touch the thing. She is so stubborn and only does things on her timeframe. Now she will happily drink water from it but Woe Be Unto You if you put milk in the thing. I have a goal to have her completely off bottles by the end of the month (more on that later) so I am trying to figure it out. Apparently this problem is really common; to have sippy cup usage but refusing milk in the sippy cup. My two plans, set to begin this weekend, are (1) go balls to the wall and hide the bottles, and (2) if all else fails add some chocolate or strawberry syrup to see if she will drink that and then slowly wean off the syrup. These are the most common suggestions Google informed me of. If you have other advice, I'm open!

I'm hoping to blog more in the near future but (1) I read that all the time on other blogs and think it all the time myself and (2) I'm hoping to do a lot more of lots of things in the near future!

But OH, I almost forgot! Did I tell you about the 1-year checkup? Shots galore and, I won't lie, she reacted to the MMR. But all it was was a runny nose and red-rimmed eyes for about three days. I'm pretty sure it was the MMR. I can't remember exact height and weight stats other than that one was 65th % and one was 55th %. BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING (sorry, I am not yelling at you, just really excited) is that her head was up from 2nd % to 10th %. We were thrilled! We had hoped it would at least stay on course. I was terrified it would fall off the scale completely. So, things are going well in terms of us choosing not to have surgery for her craniosynostosis! Yay!


Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Yoohoo, I'm Still Here!

Baby Girl's Surgery Status

I'm not even sure if I shared on this blog but for now there will be no surgery to correct BG's craniosynostosis. The final expert surgeon's opinion was that it was not necessary now, and probably not ever. We never got a definite "yes you have to do this" so we are taking a wait and see approach. We need to see her language develop and her head continue to grow. So far, so good. And a relief.

Job Situation

Well, I am back to working full time. I went on two job interviews across the country in Virginia (DC and Richmond) and got offers from both. I had a request to go interview two other places. I had a local interview and got that offer. And ultimately.... I went back to my old job! They asked me back and it really made the most sense. We don't have to move, we don't have to (short) sell our house, etc. And I just wasn't excited about the other local offer and didn't want to move out of my current specialty area. My old company offered me an hourly rate equal to my old salary but without benefits. I asked for more money to help offset the benefits and they went for it. They will potentially convert me back to salary and benefits if they make a partnering deal. It is extremely risky in terms of stability, but luckily the companies I turned down told me to let them know if anything changes. I have found that a consultant I used is an EXTREMELY good connection. Everyone knows him and respects him and he says good things about me. I intend to keep him as my BFF forever.

It was hard to transition back to work. I thought I would have a terrible first week away from BG. The first day was very hard but I found that I really liked being back to work. My work is fulfilling to me and I really have to work. After the first day it has gotten easier but I still do really miss my time with her. I really wish I could work part time but that doesn't exist in my industry. But she loves having grandma come over and she is always happy to see me after work.

So as you can see, things are looking up for us after a tough start to the year. I think I've already reached my yearly allotment of tears between the layoff, my grandma, and the biggest one - BG's birth defect diagnosis. But in reality, I have SO much to be thankful for. Every day I see an awesome kid running (yes, actually running) around my house, babbling away, learning, growing, and generally being awesome. I just celebrated 8 years of marriage yesterday with my wonderful husband. I have a fulfilling career that provides for us. Through my layoff I learned that my work experience is in demand and that makes me feel a lot better about my still unstable job.

I hope there are still a few people reading and I am sorry I have been away so long. I was travelling so much, stressing so much, planning a potential move, etc etc. Luckily we are trying to settle in again. In honor of BG's birthday - IN JUST 8 DAYS - we are going to visit family and friends in Minnesota for two whole weeks. We'll have her party at hubby's parents' farm. We're so excited to go and relax for a while!

So I'll be back soon and I hope you are all doing well. Take care of yourselves and have a great summer!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Help for Another Blogger?

Do you know about Jenneper?

Because if you don't, then you should. She has, without a doubt, the funniest blog I have ever read. When I found her blog I had to go back to the beginning just so I didn't miss a single post. She even wrote for the magazine Redbook for a while.

Unfortunately, things haven't been so funny around Jenneper's blog lately. For quite a while actually. After a FET she became pregnant with identical twin girls. During the pregnancy they learned that one baby was not growing as well and was much too small and everyone was very worried about her. They tried to strike a balance to keep the babies in to give them both the best chance at survival. Shortly before their scheduled c-section at 32 weeks the bigger baby died suddenly and so she was born still. Nobody had been very worried about her.

The tiny baby, Ainsley, survived but is still in the NICU five months later and is facing another 2-3 months. Can you imagine not even taking your baby home for 8 months?!

Anyway, I could go on and on but you could go to her blog and read their story. But now they are balancing two full time jobs, their 2 year old daughter, and driving back and forth to the hospital to spend time with Ainsley. Obviously there are medical bills, gas costs, parking, etc etc.

I thought I would appeal to all 3.31 of my readers to see if you might be interested to help. If so, follow this link to a post by her friend. There is a paypal option to send a donation.

If nothing else, perhaps you can laugh while you catch up on her posts of less stressful times and then offer them some words of encouragement.

That's it. I have been wanting to post about some more of my employment drama but my grandmother passed away this morning (after a long life and a very long period of declining health) and so there is travelling and such in my future. I'll be back... eventually.

Monday, May 30, 2011

We're Still Here!

I've been putting it off too long. I have been meaning to write for so long. Ugh. So much going on, so many possibilities for posting but yet I haven't. For now I will just do a bit of an update for Baby Girl.

Most of you probably saw on our other blog. We had our appointment over a month ago with the "expert" surgeon in Dallas. He clearly felt that surgery was not needed, at least not at this point. He would have waited until 18 months anyway. We are to pay attention to the growth of her skull and her development. I still constantly obsess over her verbal and non-verbal communication. I think it is alright but she is certainly not an overachiever in this area. I am currently obsessed with the fact that she does not point. Am I supposed to teach her that or is pointing a natural/innate activity that arises?

In all other developmental areas I am certain she is a genius. ;) But for now we are in a wait and see holding pattern in terms of surgery. I have done better putting it out of my mind than I thought I would. She is just so funny and so fun every day that it has been easy. She'll have her one year check up in about 6 weeks and we will see how her head is tracking in size.

Wait, WHAT?! How is my baby going to be turning one year old? In just a tiny bit over a month. Omigod. What will I do?

She is walking everywhere now. Crawling is so last week. She kind of looks like a drunken old lady but is getting better every day. She tries to run but her feet can't keep up with her upper body so then she falls over!

It just struck me that I am a very neglectful mother in one particular area. I always forget to read to her! Terrible! Especially given my concern with her communication. She has never been terribly interested in books so it always seems to be an exercise in futility. But I must persevere! I am making a public promise right here and right now to do better!

She is finally eating actual adult table food. For dinner she usually gets a bunch of whatever we are eating and a jar of baby food for good measure. Like all other eating milestones, this one took a while. She wasn't going to eat just anything we put on her tray until she was gosh darn good and ready. Now she will try anything we toss on there. And loves just about anything. The other day she was eating hummus on tiny pieces of pita faster than I could get it onto her tray! We've got to get the darn sippy cup under control too. She has all the mechanics just fine. She just refuses and wails if the thing is even in her eyesight. Sigh. She is a very opinionated and strong willed young lady.

The best thing now is that she walks to me just for hugs. It melts my heart. She also comes over to be picked up. Unfortunately, I completely threw out my back two days ago picking her up. It has been terrible! I went right to the chiropractor, which helped a lot. But I am still in a great deal of pain and am very sore. Once I sit down it is very difficult to get walking again.

Ok, that is enough for now I guess. I'll have to post again about the whole job situation.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

9ish Month Update

I haven't been updating this blog because I honestly think that anyone who still reads it is also reading our other blog, so you pretty much know what is going on in our lives.

We are headed to Dallas on Thursday to get another opinion on Baby Girl's skull issue and then we will have to figure out our plan. Whether or not she will have surgery and where it would be.

Tonight I was looking at a child in big girl jammies (two pieces instead of one with footies) cruising around my family room behind a grocery cart and wondering how my baby got to be so big! She is 9.5 months old. She seriously cracks me up all day long, sometimes for good things and sometimes for bad. She recently added this specific noise to her babbling; if you have seen that viral video of the little twins babbling to each other in front of the fridge it is exactly like that. But she does it happy when she is having fun and does it angrily when I am removing her from one of several dangerous situations she loves to get into. That was our whole day today, me saying "no" and relocating her. But it is all funny to me, even though I can't let her see that.

Her little personality is so cute and is really apparent now. My favorite thing that she does is at night. We feed her the last bottle right before bed in the rocking chair in her nursery. After she is done she turns her head away from the bottle and gets up from the cradle hold position and climbs up on my chest to snuggle in to fall to sleep. Holy cow, it just melts my heart and is the best part of my day. I just want to stay there with her all night but I never want her to rely on falling to sleep that way so I stay for a few minutes and say goodnight and put her in her crib.

She also claps and dances and shakes her head to music now. So funny. She always has a huge smile for hubby when he gets home from work and he loves it! When he goes upstairs to change I have to be ready because she takes off to follow him upstairs. We have been putting off getting gates for the stairs because even though she has been able to climb for a while she hasn't had much interest until the last week or so. Now she takes off like a bullet if someone goes up and she wants to follow. She could do it all by herself but of course we need to be there in case she stumbles. Today she did the whole thing herself though. Crazy.

Anyway, those are some of the fun things I get to do during my temporary stint as a stay at home mom. With all the health unknowns I am trying not to add to it right now with worrying about a job. We will figure out what Baby Girl needs and then worry about my job. For now I love being home with her, even though it is tiring!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Editing Woes

Ugh, I absolutely cannot get that last post to be more than one paragraph! I keep trying to fix it to no avail. Sorry!

A Fun First

I always have a million blog post ideas in my head but I never get to actually writing them. Mostly I am very busy playing word twist on face.book and other Really Important Things. But today I had to write about an exciting first. I met a bloggy friend for real and up close and personal in real life! I got together with Laura and her daughter from Blessed. Her baby is 6 months old, so just a couple of months younger than Baby Girl. Her little sweetie was so smiley and so adorable! I am so happy that after all of her struggles Laura has been so wonderfully blessed. Actually, her blog title has always been "Blessed", even in the midst of her recurrent miscarriages. That is one of the things I really liked about Laura when I first happened upon her blog; she is always being thankful for all things in her life, big and small. She is an inspiring woman of faith and just a genuinely nice person! I am so glad I got to meet her and even though she was only in town for the weekend I hope one of us will be in the others' neighborhood again soon. And for those of you not checking into the other blog for Baby Girl's medical issues... we will be headed to Dallas in late April to get an in-person assessment from the expert surgeon. Today I booked airfare, hotel, and shuttle service. I wish it were sooner but considering they first told me I couldn't get in until June I should be quite thankful. Hopefully the expert's opinion will remain the same as his opinion based on the CT scan and pictures I sent and Baby Girl will not need surgery and we can get on with our lives!

Monday, March 7, 2011

Oops!

Oops! Forgot to provide my email address in case you want to follow Baby Girl's cranio blog.

You can email me at wouldmakethree at gmail dot com. I'll send you the link to the blog.

Also, just scheduled the CT scan for Wednesday! So relieved to be one step closer.

New Blog

Hello everyone. This whole cranio business is kind of consuming my life right now. I have been reading blogs but not commenting as much as usual, sorry!

We are currently waiting for the call from the imaging center to set up Baby Girl's CT. They have to get approval from my insurance first. If my insurance asks for anything more the imaging center will have to go back to the surgeon's office and the whole business starts over again. Sigh, I am so worried that each step will take two weeks. Ha, my own new kind of TWW. Yuck.

We came out to family and friends in an email and on facebook. We started a blog so that we could manage to keep everyone updated as to what's going on and where we are in the process. If you are interested and I recognize your name from hanging around here, email me and I will give you that blog address. The only thing I ask is that if you ever leave comments there please don't mention this blog. I think there is way TMI here for my family and friends, especially coworkers and whatnot! Even my pastor has the other address, so... they may not want to read about cervical mucous, periods, my hoohah, hubby's sperm and all that fun stuff! But it's not as if everyone I know doesn't already know we went through infertility as I am a bit of an oversharer. But even I have limits! Only you fine people get the pleasure of reading about that stuff!

Anyway, we had a lot of great emails and comments and stuff that made me cry. It's times like this I am sad I live so far away from most of the people that give a damn about us.

But to end on a happy note, Baby Girl turned 8 months old today! Where does time go? She is so stinkin cute!