What We Lost

We lost a girl who had over 700 people show up to her reviewal and over 600 people come to her funeral. I don't think I know 700 people let alone that many who would show up to my funeral.

We lost a girl who touched many lives through being a daycare provider, Sunday school teacher, scrapbook club organizer, local sports booster club member, coworker, student, classmate, daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, cousin, neighbor, friend, girlfriend, and most importantly, mother.

Thank you all for your kind words of support and sympathy. It really has meant a lot to me as I struggle with my own grief and ache for her immediate family, who are suffering greatly.

Her funeral was beautiful, if that's possible. So many people came together to make it possible. We cried a billion tears and are pretty sure we set a record for kleenexes used in one day.

The same day as her funeral both her brother and sister were scheduled to play hockey games for their respective teams. They both decided to play and both teams wore pink armbands (her favorite color) with Carrie's initials. Our whole family attended and we actually had fun. It was nice to see everyone smile, if only for a few hours. I asked my 14-year-old cousin Alex to check someone for me and he happily obliged. In fact, towards the end of the game as he skated by four members of the opposing team one after another he gave them a little open ice check. I don't condone violence or poor sportsmanship but come on, it's hockey. I was beaming! What can I say, I get rowdy at hockey games. I'm a Minnesotan.

I debated on whether to include a link to a story about Carrie. She was all over the news. My desire for privacy (due to hubby's wishes) was overcome by my desire to show you, if you feel so inclined to look, what a beautiful person she was, inside and out. Plus, her last name is not the same as mine or anyone else in our extended family. If you really wanted to figure out my true identity, you probably could but oh well. The link has a written story as well as a video on the side. I chose one that did not show the scene of the accident. So here it is:

http://wcco.com/local/submerged.car.death.2.1360530.html

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In other news, as far as I know, my pregnancy is progressing. I am now 9 weeks 3 days. I am still so nervous and it has been hard to let my guard down to be excited. Additionally, I have been so sick that I have lost 8 lbs. I have a small frame and was not overweight so I am starting to become alarmed. My family noticed I had lost weight. I have an appointment next Monday so I know this will come up and I am trying to deal until then when we can decide what to do, if anything. Before my cousin's funeral I prayed that I would be able to make it through physically. I didn't want to throw up or pass out and take any focus off of her. Thankfully, I felt better physically those two days then I have the past four weeks. I ate almost normally. However, after three nights in a row of four hours of sleep, yesterday I was feeling awful. Sleep is a big factor!

I have found that the easiest thing to eat is a sandwich with lunch meat, even though lunch meat is not recommended. If that is the only thing I can stomach then screw it, it is what I will eat for now. Right now I need calories and almost nothing else will go down. I will have to hope and pray that I don't contract whatever bacteria it is that people are concerned about during pregnancy.