Hubby and Me Part Two: TTC Now? How 'Bout Now?...

When hubby and I were first married I was just starting my 2nd year of grad school (planned to be 5-6 years total) and he got his first teaching job and started that fall. By the end of our first year of marriage we had purchased our first home and our first dog. It was a great time in our lives.

Before we even got married I informed hubby of my PCOS diagnosis and what it might mean for our future family building. He assured me that he was fine with it and however we needed to bring children into our lives, we would do it. So in those early years we didn't talk about the "when" of ttc much. I knew he totally wasn't ready and I had a long haul of school in front of me. But there was always that voice in my head, and once or twice from an actual doctor, that reminded me the longer I waited the more difficult it could be.

When we had been married for 2.5 years we decided to be crazy and start trying. I figured we could handle a kid and grad school. I quit birth control the day after Christmas 2005. But then a few days later we were thrown a curve ball. My PhD advisor called a meeting January 2, 2006. I figured it was your run of the mill "yay rah rah let's all work hard this year" meeting. It was not. He informed us of his tentative plan to leave that university and take a job at another. The problem was that we didn't know where he was going yet. He didn't make the final decision to come to Arizona until April. I remember getting the call on Easter.

We had our "what if" plans in place. We had decided we would move so that I could stay on track to graduate rather than staying and essentially starting over with a new advisor and research project. We had to sell our house and, of course, put our ttc plans on hold.

I was kind of excited and looked at the whole thing as an adventure. We moved here to Arizona in July 2006. At school we got the lab set up and I got to work. I figured I had about 2 years left of school. Then in December 2006 I learned that my advisor was terribly unhappy and planned to leave the university here for one in Utah.

Holy shit dude. I was livid.

I informed him that I was not about to follow him again. I planned to finish by the summer of 2007 when he would be leaving. It almost killed me. Hubby had to leave about a month before I was done to start his teaching job at our next destination. I had to scramble to finish and worked constantly that last month to write my dissertation. I lost about 15 pounds and my hair started falling out. But I did it. I still wish I had more time to write a thesis I am more proud of but I finished and that was what mattered at that point. Nobody will ever read that thing anyway!

So we moved across the state and I took a post-doctoral appointment since I had no time to apply for an actual job. I figured we would be there about 2 years. We decided to ttc again and in January 2008 I sought help from a highly recommended OB to ttc since I almost never get periods on my own. Long story short, the experience was awful. I did one round of Clomid, probably stopped testing for ovulation too soon, and don't know if I o'd or not. But when I called to say I was not pregnant and needed another round, as instructed, he never called back. I started leaving messages with the nurse. She was incredibly rude. Never heard back. Probably left 20 messages with his nurse. Never heard back. Called the front desk to complain. They kept sending me to the nurse's voicemail. To this day I have never heard back. Absolutely inexcusable way to handle a patient currently being treated.

Hubby and I realized we were both incredibly unhappy there because of hating our jobs, hating the town, and other factors. Stopped ttc again. I started applying for jobs. Applied for over 100. Had a few interviews, turned down a couple offers, and finally found the job I have now. I took it even though it was only originally given as a 6-month contract. We made the leap of faith and moved back to the first area we lived in here in Arizona. Hubby got a job back with the district he taught in the first time around. Life was good again. I loved my job and hubby was happy in his new school.

But now with a "temporary" job and an unknown future, what to do about ttc? Stay tuned for the next episode!